For the fifth consecutive season, I’ve chosen to keep my weekly picks on public display because…well, because I hate myself. Feel free to tweet (@notJDaigle) or email me (daigle10@icloud.com) with any questions or, more likely, vulgar comments.
(Home team in CAPS)
BRONCOS (+3) over Panthers
I realize everyone was looking forward to the return of the Thursday Night Dumpster Fire, but for one week at least, Thursday picks are safe.
Buccaneers (+3) over FALCONS
I honestly don’t have a strong opinion on this game and, quite frankly, won’t be watching it. I do, however, have a strong “opinion” (read: celery units) on the Falcons finishing under their 7.5 season win total. I’m just assuming their inevitable collapse starts here.
EAGLES (-3) over Browns
Robert Griffin III averaged 8.1 yards per attempt in the preseason, making everyone forget that even if he were to play great right out of the gates, Cleveland’s defense allowed 4.5 yards per carry and 128.4 rushing yards per game in 2015. How Carson Wentz performs in his NFL debut doesn’t even matter.
JETS (+2.5) over Bengals
Without Hue Jackson, I fully expect the Bengals’ offense to regress negatively en route to missing the playoffs. Even if A.J. Green leads the league in receiving yards after Week 1 (and he definitely could), I don’t think it means much here.
SAINTS (-1.5) over Raiders
The Raiders acquired Sean Smith, Bruce Irvin, Aldon Smith, and Reggie Smith in free agency. While that should make their defense better this season, it’s still just a theoretical point in Week 1. Not theoretically, Drew Brees threw for 462 more yards, 14 more touchdowns, and averaged 1.2 YPA more at home last season.
Vikings (-2.5) over TITANS
Chalk me up as the only person still angry that Minnesota traded for a quarterback AFTER I invested in their Over (8) following Teddy Bridgewater’s injury. Yes, I feel much more comfortable with Shaun Hill striving for eight wins than I do watching Sam-fucking-Bradford shoot for nine. And by the way, this game sucks, too.
Chargers (+6.5) over CHIEFS
Rivers finished 0-2 against the Chiefs last season, averaging 220.5 yards, one pick, and a 58.9 completion percentage. At the same time, Keenan Allen didn’t take part in either game. Rivers averaged 344.1 yards and 2.2 scores when Allen started last season. I fully expect Kansas City to be in the conversation as a Super Bowl contender at season’s end, but with so many injuries to their defense in Week 1, they seem slightly overvalued here.
RAVENS (-3) over Bills
Before a torn ACL cut Joe Flacco’s season short in Week 11, he was on-pace for 4,466 yards, 22.4 touchdowns, and a career-high 661 passing attempts through the first 10 games of 2015. The Ravens’ defense has (understandably) been labeled as old and shaky, but fact remains that 14 of Baltimore’s games resulted in a one-score margin despite the loss of their starting quarterback (Joe Flacco), perennial Pro Bowl pass rusher (Terrell Suggs), two starting wide receivers (Steve Smith and Breshad Perriman), two running backs (Justin Forsett and Lorenzo Taliaferro), two tight ends (Crockett Gillmore and Dennis Pitta), and their starting left tackle and center (Eugene Monroe and Jeremy Zuttah).
Let’s be clear: Buffalo is going to explode in this game. Tyrod Taylor averaged 191.5 yards and 6.46 YPA in two games without Sammy Watkins last season, and 221 YPG/8.79 YPA when the latter started. But I still think Week 1 is the beginning of Baltimore’s run to the AFC Championship. (Yep.)
Bears (+6) over TEXANS
In seven starts with Denver last season, Brock Osweiler averaged 7.2 YPA (23rd) and a 48.7 QBR (25th). He should be better under the tutelage of Bill O’Brien, but his performance in the preseason (270 yards, two scores, 73.9 percent completion rate) has overshadowed just how bad he was in the regular season. With J.J. Watt’s back still aching, I admittedly love this bet (and may or may not have invested interest in the moneyline) much more than I should.
JAGUARS (+5.5) over Packers
It has yet to be confirmed whether Jordy Nelson will be on a snap count Sunday, but this is a great spot for Jacksonville whether he’s in there or not. After finishing -1.4 games below their pythagorean record in 2015, the Jags are returning even money on their 7.5 season win total this year. I have the Packers winning more games than any other team and Aaron Rodgers eventually being crowned 2016 MVP, but 5.5 points is entirely too many to lay on the road in the Florida heat, especially against an offense that finished fourth in explosive passing plays (passes that resulted in a gain of 25-plus yards) last season.
SEAHAWKS (-10) over Dolphins
Yep.
COWBOYS (Pick) over Giants
The bad: Dallas is 1-12 and 2-10-1 against the spread without Tony Romo over the last two seasons. DC Rod Marinelli rendered Odell Beckham (9-80-0) and Eli Manning (363-0-0) useless in 2015, but had issues stopping both the prior year. Although New York’s offense will surely be better, the Cowboys will regress positively in every category that tends to fluctuate from year to year. For instance, they ranked dead last in fumble recovery percentage, went 2-6 in one-score games, and finished -1.2 games below their pythagorean record. And we haven’t even touched on how their defense was the worst in history at creating turnovers. All that, as well as their simplistic schedule, should result in 10-plus wins whether Romo is healthy or not. (SPOILER ALERT: He isn’t.)
Lions (+3) over COLTS
By now, the Lions’ offense, which ranked fourth in pace over the final eight games last season, isn’t even a sneaky wagon that’ll drive one or two to the betting (and fantasy) promised land. It’s basically stopping at every corner, trying to pack more people in with each passing day. And with the Colts’ injury report looking more like their defensive depth chart, this one seems pretty easy. (Which means that I’m definitely on the wrong side.)
Patriots (+6) over CARDINALS
This isn’t so much about the line movement since Tom Brady’s suspension wasn’t not going to push this line from +1 to +6. In fact, it wouldn’t be surprising if the Cardinals won this one by double-digits. Dating back to Week 17, though, Carson Palmer has completed 72 of his last 128 passes (56.2 percent) for five scores and 10 interceptions (including the preseason). Six points is just too many for that type of recent performance.
WASHINGTON (+3) over Steelers
Washington is ultimately in store for a disastrous year. Between its strength of schedule (second-toughest according to Warren Sharp) and Kirk Cousins’ inevitable regression following an absurd 20-3 TD-INT ratio over his final nine games, I personally have Washington finishing third in the NFC East, one spot ahead of the Eagles. (For what it’s worth, I also have the Steelers winning the AFC North due to their cupcake schedule.) Having said that, it’s stunning that Washington is getting three points at home. Pittsburgh is clearly a favorite for the betting public, and while three points is worth grabbing right now, it’s also plausible to wait this one out and nab the +3.5 once it gets there.
Or, you know, just bet it a second time Monday night.
49ERS (+2.5) over Rams
To take part in one of the sharpest bets in 2015, all you had to do was ignore public opinion about the 49ers in Week 1 and bet them as +1.5 home dogs against the Vikings. If you recall, Carlos Hyde then went out and ran for 168 yards and two touchdowns in a 20-3 victory. If you still don’t understand what I’m getting it, just ask yourself if Case Keenum should be favored on the road.
Last Season (through Week 15): 112-110-4
This Week: 1-0
Season: 1-0